nostalgia

my mother is in the kitchen 

and she is humming some meandering melody

one i don't recognize

but one i remember all the same

and I remember, vaguely

or rather am reminded

of nights in my bunk bed

facing toward the blue wall of my bedroom

with that little flower wallpaper that made my eyes blurry

if i stared at it too long

and my mother (who was sweeter then)

sitting by my side, singing

forgetting words to lullabies

and half forgetting their purpose

and me with tears soaking my pillow

trying to be very quiet

so that she wouldn't know

that it always made me 

sad

when she sang.